Resurrection...

so i have been missing...not just in action...but in words and speech and almost everything...i am back...or so i hope...busier than ever...but ironically, happier than ever as well...new job...new environment...new things...new everything almost...2010 started slowly and the big bangs started happening somewhere in march...have gotten my divorce finally...got a new man in my life...moved back into my mum's place (after a harrowing december renovation...i shall save that for another time!), though she aint around (win-win situation for both of us)...finally made the move to leave the place that was pulling me down like quicksand...said goodbye to civil service...

there is a God...believe in God...troubles are just God's way of making sure you become stronger and after all that testing, God shows you the light at the end of the tunnel...and i was shown the light...at my new work place...shall not reveal it yet but it has made me realise that risks are meant to be taken..only calculate them so that you dont end up looking like an idiot...

tendered my resignation in may and made june 23rd my last day in the old place...the irony was that when i signed the contract with the newplace, i was given time to consider..which i used to the max...thought to myself,'let's just give this place another chance...after spending 8.5 yrs here, let's see if things can change...let's be neutral...' and the thing is that nothing got better...things were the same...mindsets were the same...nothing was gonna change...it was God's way of telling me,'I have given you the chance. it is up to you if you want to take it.' decided that i would be totally a dumb, brainless, bimbo (i gotta admit that i look good anyways!) if i didnt take the opportunity to do something else...and i did...i left...i was asked to reconsider...i was told that i was not gonna be let go of...suddenly, kom's worth was realised...too late folks...you are on ur own now...i miz my mates tho...and do i need to say how much i miz my lame-oh students?! you have no idea how much i miz them...i miz the soulful intimacy i had with them...how i knew each and every one of them...their parents were surprised that i knew their kids so well..hell!! even the kids were surprised themselves...

but i aint complaining cos i have learnt that the pastures are greener on the other side...much, much greener...it is just a matter of working hard to reach those pastures...i aint complaining about having anywhere from 11 - 27 students in my class...not complaining about work ending at 430pm on some days, when i start at 830am...i am not complaining about the long, well deserved, untouched 7 weeks of holidays at the year end (other than the fact that i mite be super duper bored after some time!!!)...

i know that right now, my job and my masters are taking precedence...my masters more important than not...i got my first ever A in my mba (thank God for tt!!!) which upped my GPA..then the stupid econs prof (the one who could never remember what he was teaching or where he had left his things or if he had marked my assignment or if he checked his email...the list goes on!!) gave me my very first D+!!! which then brought my GPA back to the same old 3.xx avg...dammit!!! but i can do it...i wana make sure that i can get more A's and do well for my mba...which i am sure i can...after i graduate, i wana see where life takes me...what i am supposed to do...for now, work n study...

i never liked not knowing wt was going to happen...i was always the 'plan and know so that you are prepared' kinda person...so this is very weird for me...not knowing what i am going to do in less than a yr's time...i finis my mba in apr...grad in july...after tt? marriage? kids? leave sg? new job?! i dont know wt's in the cards for me...i want to be happy...i know that much for sure...i want to be really happy...i want to achieve things for myself and my family and my kids...i want to be happy...

wish me luck... :D